I don't love you but....

I don't love you
but I know I can.
Its not hard.
You,
Soft,
tender on the inside,
beautiful.
Kind.

Teach me to love you.
Teach me how you want to be held.
Teach me how you want to be caressed.
I don't love you
but I know I can.

I miss your warm arms,
holding, me.
I miss your soft lips,
kissing me.
Its like it was all a dream.
Nothing is real.
I lied to myself saying
what I don't want.

Today,
the sun beams into my eyes.
Reflecting all the things I said
I didn't want.

I want.
I want it all,
I want joy,
I want love,
I want tenderness.
Understand me,
be kind to me.

Hopeless,
I know it will come one day,
its just not today.

I want you to be
all that you can be.

Let me feed you,
make you a meal.
Of red rose petals,
floating in a soft body of water.
warm soft candles.
I don't love you but
you can teach me.

It just has to be right.
No secrets.
No darkness,
everything has to be done in the light.
I can't have goodness if I am doing wrong.

I am sorry,
I can't but I know I will.
Eventually,
it will come and be beautiful.

I won't have to learn.
I don't love you but.
Teach me how?