The Dark Market

Last night,
I dreamed a dream of
magnificent porportions.
It was a dream of a man.
Working in a dark market,
no the market was not black,
the market was dark.
There were canopy hanging overhead,
and dim lights were lit.
I watched as women purchased souls.
Souls of men willing to come with them, 
and canning souls of men who refused.

Crimson, jars....
filled with the hearts of the faint.
Baskets of deep red apples,
all of this occured in the dark market.

Last night,
I felt the hollow ache of pain.
In my soul, manifest in my shoulder.
It wakes me like a man wanting pleasure passionately.
But there is pain associated with this waking.
I think in the wee hours of the early
morning. Why can't i just cut it off and be done
with my pain.
Its my reminder that if I don't look at what is
real, reality will come to me and I will feel it.

I pray God, will you not heal me
of my affliction.
My words fall on his heart and he
forces me to evaluate me.
My suffering will not stop until I say it....
Not until I speak the words he wants me to say.
No, he does not want me to ask for forgiveness,
no he does not want me to repent.
He wants me to say it out loud.

He wants me to openly acknowledge,
that I want to be loved and love is for me.
There I have said it,
I want to be loved and love is for me.
I want to breath the smell of fresh flowers in the spring time.
I want to leave the dark market of mens souls, and
harbor no jars of crimson hearts.

I pray God that he gives me this
before my days are far gone and I
have nothing left to give that is good.
I pray God that I do not turn from the sun,
and seek the heart of stone, that some gather close.
Holding on to that anger.
hating, all for not loving  but more
than anything for not being able to love ....

Soft and supple,
working the skin,
not like a leather bag,
this has not set too long in the sun.....
kiss me..
make it last forever....
I will follow if you but lead.....
all the things I pray god for,
if he will just remove me from the dark
market.

If he will just remove my pain.....