Its gonna leave a scar

You voluntarily lay down,
You trust me, I smile,
I don't have to strap you down
This is your free will:
Allowing me to place the knives out.
You don't look afraid, in fact you smile
a little....
Its more of an uncertain smile, trusting like a child.
Who is aware that this may be against their best child like wisdom.

The knives are in perfect alinement's on the stainless steel table;
the perfect tool for the perfect job.
Displayed just right.
scalpel to make the perfect cut.
Incision, perfect, blood rippling down, bright red, fresh
running down your belly button,
filling the perfect little whole.
The base of your pubic synthesis
not too deep, just enough, I want it to hurt not
to kill, I want to expose just enough
Expose your white flesh,
below the skin line,
fatty deposits, yellow, and bubbling,
Its just beginning to hurt, just enough that you are
aware that you have a cut above and just below your belly button.
I wanted your belly button to act as a cup and hold the blood.
I am in complete control.

Exerts from a day in the life of ....
Do you hear the story line?
this is not going to kill you, its like
visiting the dentist,  it hurts just enough to make
you want to cry, your eyes well up with tears.
Darkness.... Confusion

Walking down the street heading
for any destination ....
infected, it will not scab, not just yet,
it will grow pink, and ooozy, and stink
If it stays infected just long enough
turning deep purple, blue, and green.
Eating on your body as a source of
nourishment. The bacteria wants to live,
its the foreign invader, and you have become the host.
It lives because you let it.

Following you everywhere you go,
you cover it with a bandage, and clothing,
but you can smell it, and you grim-is when it is
rubbed by the bandage. When do you want it to stop
when do you want to put an end to the discomfort
After all you allowed the cut,
you lay down and let the incision be made
When do you want to make it  stop.
You have absolute control over when
its time to change.

Fever takes over; sweat
profusely, at night, hot  and cold.
Delirium, in and out....
MAKE IT STOP,
pitiful,
victim,
you have control over the threshold of pain
you will experience.
But you play games with yourself.

When you are ready for the pain to stop....
You WILL go to the doctor.
Its Gonna leave a scar,
but you will never forget.

©2011 Stefanie Stevens