Gin and Crystal

Early morning,
smears of blood all over
my cotton white sheets.
Last night I used a crystal
glass, to drink Gin.
I only did it because
the glass was so beautiful,
fine and clear.
It made a beautiful sound when I
rubbed my finger around the edge of the glass.
Silky, smooth, the gin went down
easily.
I am really not a drinker, but
why not with such a fine piece of crystal.
Add a few green olives.

I guess I took myself for granted.
Maybe that type of fine
drinking is for other women,
who are more regal,
more beautiful,
more of more.....
I was drunk, being a half wit,
thinking I could be the woman in
the fine fitted dress, with the red lips, and
sparkles on my wrists.
Sure I made the cut, but
in really fine pieces.

Pieces of shredded
fine glass in my sleep,
cutting me to shreds....
Not deep open wounds,
but long lasting wounds that leave
me knowing, I have been cut.

Disgusted,
drinking, Gin to numb the pain...
I need tweezers to pull out the little shards of glass.
Fine, like little pieces of diamonds.
I can only see the reflections of the glass
without my glasses.
My eyes are filled with tears, running down my face.
This won't kill me but it will make me
stronger.
Teach me a lesson about
crystal.
Never put in your bed,
as its only nice to look at but
not nice to sleep next to.
Its cold,
its hard and it breaks easily.
I shouldn't drink.

If I leave the shreds, just as they are..
They won't kill me...
They may become infected just enough to bother me,
but I will continue to live my life,
in a different way.

I close the gates, lock the door,
and prepare for the change.
Stop seeking and the shreds won't find their way
in your bed, and
you will not drink.

© 2011 Stefanie Stevens