I love to hate you and hate to love you

You were/are my bitter sweet, 

angry Dark Rich Chocolate, 

eating only a small bite, 

Words filled with frustration, 

I hate to love you

but love to hate you.

Three A.M. 

Watching you sleep,

fighting the nemphs of your past, 

killing the seeds that fell on dry soil.

Watering the opportunitys of tomorrow 

and forever.

Today is forever and we only have this moment.

I opened and closed, my soul to you.

As I knew you would go, and would'nt

stay as you hated to love me, and now

you love to hate me. 

I love you,

in a space were the time ends, 

faster than we can start.

Your anger overtakes me, 

and I run...

Burning my soul, 

my skin agent orange, 

inhailing it into my lungs,

the burn just will not  stop.

Smelling my flesh burneating away the meat to the bone. 

Today I hate to love you and love to hate you....

But I miss you so .....

WHAT IS IT STEF? in the early mornings?

You could feel my words, 

We talk till dusk, about.... 

what ever crosses our minds.

Loving, holding, 

its hard and angry from the day.

curling into a ball just being in our presence.

You and I.

There was no anger.

softness, and tears, not of regret but 

of our moments of joy.

Show me that you love, your last words.

Now there are no more. 

I DON"T KNOW HOW, 

leaving me to hating to love you but loving to hate you.....

For all the endless possabilities of us.

I love to hate you and hate to love you

You were/are my bitter sweet, 

angry Dark Rich Chocolate, 

eating only a small bite, 

Words filled with frustration, 

I hate to love you

but love to hate you.

Three A.M. 

Watching you sleep,

fighting the nemphs of your past, 

killing the seeds that fell on dry soil.

Watering the opportunitys of tomorrow 

and forever.

Today is forever and we only have this moment.

I opened and closed, my soul to you.

As I knew you would go, and would'nt

stay as you hated to love me, and now

you love to hate me. 

I love you,

in a space were the time ends, 

faster than we can start.

Your anger overtakes me, 

and I run...

Burning my soul, 

my skin agent orange, 

inhailing it into my lungs,

the burn just will not  stop.

Smelling my flesh burneating away the meat to the bone. 

Today I hate to love you and love to hate you....

But I miss you so .....

WHAT IS IT STEF? in the early mornings?

You could feel my words, 

We talk till dusk, about.... 

what ever crosses our minds.

Loving, holding, 

its hard and angry from the day.

curling into a ball just being in our presence.

You and I.

There was no anger.

softness, and tears, not of regret but 

of our moments of joy.

Show me that you love, your last words.

Now there are no more. 

I DON"T KNOW HOW, 

leaving me to hating to love you but loving to hate you.....

For all the endless possabilities of us.

Rebuilding

"The  worst might be over, but now what?

It may be time to accept the facts -- move out  of my  comfort zone?

seek refuge? or should I seek  guidance from someone in the same boat in order to resolve,

reconcile and move on. 

For I  may have nothing left to offer for now.

Rebuilding trust or seeking a better life needs to be done although I may not meet it with much enthusiasm or confidence. I will Let go of  previous baggage on this emigration.

Dump the heartbreak, resentment, tension, dependency or ties that burden me once upon a time.

Or face the consequences of  repeating a  similar condition and  trade one hardship or bad relationship for another."

Stefanie Stevens